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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Proverbs and Quotations - 107
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Henry Adams
No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.
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Mae West
I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.
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Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.
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William Blake
My mother groan'd, my father wept Into the dangerous world I leapt, Helpless, naked, piping load, Like a friend hid in a cloud.
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Russian proverb
There is no shame in not knowing; the shame lies in not finding out.
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Clarence Darrow
Chase after truth like hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coat-tails.
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John Swinton
There is no such thing, at this date of the world's history, in America, as an independent press. You know it and I know it. There is not one of you who dares to write your honest opinions, and if you did, you know beforehand that it would never appear in print. I am paid weekly for keeping my honest opinion out of the paper I am connected with. Others of you are paid similar salaries for similar things, and any of you who would be so foolish as to write honest opinions would be out on the streets looking for another job. If I allowed my honest opinions to appear in one issue of my paper, before twenty-four hours my occupation would be gone. The business of the journalists is to destroy the truth, to lie outright, to pervert, to vilify, to fawn at the feet of mammon, and to sell his country and his race for his daily bread. You know it and I know it, and what folly is this toasting an independent press We are the tools and vassals of rich men behind the scenes. We are the jumping jacks, they pull the strings and we dance. Our talents, our possibilities and our lives are all the property of other men. We are intellectual prostitutes.
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Maya Angelou
Men fear death, as children fear to go in the dark and as that natural fear in children is increased with tales, so is the other.
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Denis Diderot
There are three principal means of acquiring knowledge. . . observation of nature, reflection, and experimentation. Observation collects facts reflection combines them experimentation verifies the result of that combination.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thought is the seed of action.
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Eleanor Roosevelt
Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
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Josh Billings
There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
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