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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Things People Say - 63
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Mary Ellen Kelly
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.
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Francis Bacon
Man, being the servant and interpreter of nature, can do and understand so much and so much only as he has observed in fact or in thought of the course of nature beyond this he neither knows anything nor can do anything.
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Isaac Newton
I do not know what I may appear to the world but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.
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William Seward Burroughs
In the U.S. you have to be a deviant or exist in extreme boredom...Make no mistake all intellectuals are deviants in the U.S.
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Epicurus
Death is nothing to us, since when we are, death has not come, and when death has come, we are not.
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Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill
Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duty, and so bear ourselves that, if the British Commonwealth and the Empire last for a thousand years, men will still say, This was their finest hour.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.
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Darrin Bell
All you get from a circular argument is dizzy.
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Oscar Wilde
To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune to lose both looks like carelessness.
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Madame de Maintenon
Who would venture upon the journey of life, if compelled to begin it at the end?
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Francois de La Rochefoucauld, Reflexions ou Sentences et Maximes Morales
The sort of liveliness which increases with age is not far distant from madness.
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Anonymous
If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.
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