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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Famous People Sayings - 26
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Robert G. Ingersoll
It is an old habit with theologians to beat the living with the bones of the dead.
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Joseph Murphy
We go where our vision is.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If I come back as a horsefly, I think my favorite thing would be to land on someone's lip. Even if they smash you, ick, you're all over their lip
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Henry J. Tillman
The saying Getting there is half the fun became obsolete with the advent of commercial airlines.
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Barbara Bush
War is not nice.
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Richard Brinsley Sheridan
When delicate and feeling souls are separated, there is not a feature in the sky, not a movement of the elements, not an aspiration of the breeze, but hints some cause for a lover's apprehension.
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Louis L\'Amour
A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself.
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Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science, section 283
For believe me: the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and greatest enjoyment is - to live dangerously.
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Gary Sow
If you don't go fishing because you thought it might rain you will never go fishing. This applies to more than fishing.
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C. Lee Hopkin
Patience is often merely the guise of Cowardice.
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H.L. Mencken
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
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Sarah Jackson
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away--and barefoot.
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