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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Famous People Sayings - 123
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John Maynard Keynes
The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Instead of having 'answers' on a math test, they should just call them 'impressions,' and if you got a different 'impression,' so what, can't we all be brothers
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Balthasar Gracian
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
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John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education. The human mind is our fundemental resource.
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Sophy Burnham
To believe in God or in a guiding force because someone tells you to is the height of stupidity. We are given senses to receive our information within. With our own eyes we see, and with our own skin we feel. With our intelligence, it is intended that we understand. But each person must puzzle it out for himself or herself.
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Francisco El Caudillo Franco
I am responsible only to God and history.
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Carl Gustav Jung
Nothing worse could happen to one than to be completely understood.
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Dave Barry
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
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George Bernard Shaw
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
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George Washington
Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.
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Richard Jeni
It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!
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Dave Storer
Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading.
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