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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Things People Say - 137
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
For nonconformity the world whips you with its displeasure.
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Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
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Ovid, Metamorphoses
Nothing in the entire universe ever perishes, believe me, but things vary, and adopt a new form. The phrase being born is used for beginning to be something different from what one was before, while dying means ceasing to be the same. Though this thing may pass into that, and that into this, yet the sums of things remains unchanged.
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Confucius, The Confucian Analects
The superior man acts before he speaks, and afterwards speaks according to his actions.
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A. S. Neill, Summerhill
Free children are not easily influenced; the absence of fear accounts for this phenomenon. Indeed, the absence of fear is the finest thing that can happen to a child.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car---I forget what kind it was---and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called 'Dad.' We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Death is Nature's expert advice to get plenty of Life.
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Charles W. Chesnutt
Those that set in motion the forces of evil cannot always control them afterwards.
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Dr. Dale E. Turner
Some of the best lessons we ever learn are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom and success of the future.
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Jean Froissart, 1359
Nothing in the world is as certain as death.
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Washington Irving
Some minds seem almost to create themselves, springing up under every disadvantage and working their solitary but irresistible way throughout a thousand obstacles.
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