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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Things People Say - 115
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Bhagavad Gita
There are two ways of passing from this world - one in light and one in darkness. When one passes in light, he does not come back but when one passes in darkness, he returns.
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Frank Boyden
If I take refuge in ambiguity, I can assure you that it's quite conscious.
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Woody Allen
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
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George W. Foote
It will yet be the proud boast of women that they never contributed a line to the Bible.
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Edward Phelps
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
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Sir Thomas Browne
I could be content that we might procreate, without conjunction, or that there were any way to perpetuate the world without this trivial and vulgar way of coition it is the most foolish act a wise man commits in all his life.
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Sun-Tzu
War is a matter of vital importance to the State; the province of life or death; the road to survival or ruin. It is mandatory that it be thoroughly studied.
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Samuel Butler
There are two great rules in life, the one general and the other particular. The first is that every one can in the end get what he wants if he only tries. This is the general rule. The particular rule is that every individual is more or less of an exception to the general rule.
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Christopher Morley
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
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Euripides
The company of just and righteous men is better than wealth and a rich estate.
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David Pratt
Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate.
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Boris Becker
Every time you are not practicing someone else is.
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