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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Sarcastic Famous Sayings - 136

Oscar Wilde, "De Profundis"

... Nature, whose sweet rains fall of just and unjust alike, will have clefts in the rocks where I may hide, and secret valleys in whose silence I may weep undetected. She will hang the night with stars so that I may walk abroad in the darkness without stumbling, and send the wind over my footprints so that none may track me to my hurt: she will cleanse me in great waters, and with bitter herbs make me whole.


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Eleanor Roosevelt

Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.


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Bill Sands

Do more than you're supposed to do and you can have or be or do anything you want.


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Terence (Publius Terentius Afer), The Self-Tormentor (Heautontimoroumenos)

I am a human being, so nothing human is strange to me.


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Eugene S. Wilson

Only the curious will learn and only the resolute overcome the obstacles to learning. The quest quotient has always excited me more than the intelligence quotient.


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Mark Twain

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.


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Johann von Goethe

The man who acts never has any conscience no one has any conscience but the man who thinks.


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Nora Ephron

If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.


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La Rochefoucauld

Absence abates a moderate passion and intensifies a great one- as the wind blows out a candle but fans fire into flame. (Maxims)


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Aristotle

It is in justice that the ordering of society is centered.


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Florida Scott-Maxwell, O Magazine, October 2003

I grow more intense as I age.


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Philippians 24 Bible

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.



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