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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Things People Say - 101
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Phil Donahue
What really keeps me going is the constant belief that it could all disappear tomorrow.
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C. C. Colton
We ought not be over anxious to encourage innovation, in case of doubtful improvement, for an old system must ever have two advantages over a new one; it is established and it is understood.
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Abraham Lincoln
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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Gerald Early
I think there are only three things America will be known for '2
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Edward Young
Some for renown, on scraps of learning dote, And think they grow immortal as they quote.
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Lillian Hellman
People change and forget to tell eachother.
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Paxton Blair
A grownup is a child with layers on.
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Robert Burns
I have a hundred times wished that one could resign life as an officer resigns a commission.
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Omar Khayyam, The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam
Ah, make the most of what we yet may spend, before we too into the dust descend.
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Jonathan Swift
Argument is the worst sort of conversation.
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Mark Twain, Speech in New York, Nov. 20, 1900
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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Abraham Maslow
We are not in a position in which we have nothing to work with. We already have capacities, talents, direction, missions, callings.
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