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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Proverbs and Quotations - 150
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J.B. Priestley
Marriage is like paying an endless visit in your worst clothes.
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Peter Steiner
On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.
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Plato
Man...is a tame or civilized animal never the less, he requires proper instruction and a fortunate nature, and then of all animals he becomes the most divine and most civilized but if he be insufficiently or ill- educated he is the most savage of earthly creatures.
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Dorothy Parker
They sicken of the calm that know the storm.
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English Proverb
Proportion your expenses to what you have, not what you expect.
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Groucho Marx
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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H. L. Mencken
A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
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Lewis Blaine Hershey
A boy becomes an adult three years before his parents think he does, and about two years after he thinks he does.
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Anita Loos
On a plane you can pick up more and better people than on any other public conveyance since the stagecoach.
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Douglas Gerald
Some people are so fond of ill-luck that they run half- way to meet it.
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Og Mandino
I will love the light for it shows me the way, Yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.
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Rose Cherin
Heirlooms we don't have in our family. But stories we've got.
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