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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Famous Sayings - 147
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Lyndon B. Johnson
When things haven't gone well for you, call in a secretary or a staff man and chew him out. You will sleep better and they will appreciate the attention.
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Author Unknown
A college education never hurt anybody who was willing to learn after he got it.
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Samuel Johnson
Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
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Lewis F. Powell, Jr.
History balances the frustration of how far we have to go with the satisfaction of how far we have come. It teaches us tolerance for the human shortcomings and imperfections which are not uniquely of our generation, but of all time.
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Raymond Smullyan
Because I have been a magician for many years, people have often asked me whether I ever have sawn a woman in half. I reply, Oh, yes I've sawn over seventy women in half in my lifetime, and I'm learning the second half of the trick now.
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Harold MacMillan
No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.
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Homer, The Odyssey
The gods, likening themselves to all kinds of strangers, go in various disguises from city to city, observing the wrongdoing and the righteousness of men.
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Sir John Lubbock
The important thing is not so much that every child should be taught, as that every child should be given the wish to learn.
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Jean Houston
We all have the extraordinary coded within us, waiting to be released.
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Sir Winston Churchill, on the eve of his 75th birthday
I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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Charles Haddon Spurgeon
Never, for fear of feeble man, restrain your witness.
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Luella F. Phean
Youth is not a time of life, it is a state of mind. You are as old as your doubt, your fear, your despair. The way to keep young is to keep your faith young. Keep your self confidence young. Keep your hope young.
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