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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Things People Say - 46
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Chinese Proverb
A fool judges people by the presents they give him.
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Frank Crane
Habits are safer than rules you don't have to watch them. And you don't have to keep them either. They keep you.
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Joan Rivers
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
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Socrates
I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing. (Plato's Apology)
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Thomas Hobbes, "The Leviathan"
The life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.
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Marilyn Monroe
I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful.
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Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, (Sherlock Holmes)
This is quite a three-pipe problem.
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Richard Moss, M.D.
The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.
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Unknown
If you love someone, put their name in a circle because hearts can be broken, but circles never end.
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Victor Hugo
A faith is a necessity to a man. Woe to him who believes in nothing.
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Susan S. Taylor
We don't have an eternity to realize our dreams, only the time we are here.
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Rush Limbaugh
You know why there's a Second Amendment In case the government fails to follow the first one.
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