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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Things People Say - 55
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John Adams
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.
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George Bernard Shaw
Lack of money is the root of all evil.
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Miguel de Cervantes
Fear is sharp-sighted, and can see things under ground, and much more in the skies.
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George Bernard Shaw
It's all that the young can do for the old, to shock them and keep them up to date.
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Kathleen Norris
Disconnecting from change does not recapture the past. It loses the future.
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Woody Allen
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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Robert Frost
Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
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Chinese Proverb
I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand.
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Alfred Hitchcock
These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.
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Ethiopian Proverb
When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion.
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Mary Kay Utech
It's not a problem that we have a problem. It's a problem if we don't deal with the problem.
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Unknown
Love is friendship caught on fire.
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