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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Things People Say - 36
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Bert Leston Taylor
A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
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Anonymous
Someday is not a day of the week.
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Sallust
For men who had easily endured hardship, danger and difficult uncertainty, leisure and riches, though in some ways desirable, proved burdensome and a source of grief.
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Euripides, Aegeus
A bad beginning makes a bad ending.
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Bhagavad Gita
As a man can drink water from any side of a full tank, so the skilled theologian can wrest from any scripture that which will serve his purpose.
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Francesco Guicciardini
The Return we reap from generous actions is not always evident.
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W. L. George
Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies.
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William H. Mauldin
I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
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William Shakespeare
Glory is like a circle in the water, Which never ceaseth to enlarge itself,
Till by broad spreading it disperses to naught.
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Daniel Boone
I can't say I was ever lost, but I was bewildered once for three days.
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Robert Ludlum, "The Tristan Betrayal"
Any fool can tell the truth; it takes talent to lie well.
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William John Bennett
The secretary of education does not work for the education establishment. The secretary works for the American people.
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