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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Things People Say - 33
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Anita Roddick, A Revolution in Kindness, 2003
The end result of kindness is that it draws people to you.
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Charles Kingsley
We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.
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Anne Lamott
A hundred years for now? All new people.
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Niels Bohr
Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.
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Howard Johnson
M-O-T-H-E-RM is for the million things she gave me,O means only that she's growing old,T is for the tears she shed to save me,H is for her heart of purest goldE is for her eyes, with love-light shining,R means right, and right she'll always be,Put them all together, they spell MOTHER,A word that means the world to me.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out and said, 'Congratulations, it's a girl,' I think a good gag would be to get real mad and yell, 'A girl You must have me mixed up with THAT dork' and point to another father.
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Margaret Millar
Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.
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Marquis de Vauvenargues
It is not true that equality is a law of nature. Nature has no equality. Its soverign law is subordination and dependence.
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Anonymous
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
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Samuel Butler
If we attend continually and promptly to the little that we can do, we shall ere long be surprised to find how little remains that we cannot do.
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Dwight D Eisenhower
That was and still is the great disaster of my life-that lovely, lovely little boy.
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Douglas Noel Adams
The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.....
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