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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Things People Say - 154
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Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
As death, when we come to consider it closely, is the true goal of our existence, I have formed during the last few years such close relations with this best and truest friend of mankind, that his image is not only no longer terrifying to me, but is indeed very soothing and consoling And I thank my God for graciously granting me the opportunity...of learning that death is the key which unlocks the door to our true happiness.
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Marie de Rabutin-Chantal
True friendship is never serene.
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Uta Hagan
More than in any other performing arts the lack of respect for acting seems to spring from the fact that every layman considers himself a valid critic.
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Josh Billings
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
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Wilson Mizner
I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education.
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Haitian Proverb
If work were good for you, the rich would leave none for the poor.
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Hal
I used to envy kids who had an old-fashioned Grandpa. Not any more. I've got a new ambition. Now I just want to become a modern-type Grandpa myself-and really start living.
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Real Live Preacher
Forgiveness is the healing of wounds caused by another. You choose to let go of a past wrong and no longer be hurt by it. Forgiveness is a strong move to make, like turning your shoulders sideways to walk quickly on a crowded sidewalk. It's your move.
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Plato
Laws are partly formed for the sake of good men, in order to instruct them how they may live on friendly terms with one another, and partly for the sake of those who refuse to be instructed, whose spirit cannot be subdued, or softened, or hindered from plunging into evil.
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William Safire
One difference between French appeasement and American appeasement is that France pays ransom in cash and gets its hostages back while the United States pays ransom in arms and gets additional hostages taken.
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William Hazlitt
The love of liberty is the love of others the love of power is the love of ourselves.
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Frank A. Clark
Why not upset the apple cart If you don't, the apples will rot anyway.
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