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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Famous Sayings - 78
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Russell Long
Tax reform means, 'Don't tax you, don't tax me. Tax that fellow behind the tree.'
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Benjamin Franklin
I cannot conceive otherwise than that He, the Infinite Father, expects or requires no worship or praise from us, but that He is even infinitely above it.
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Harry S Truman
I come to the office each morning and stay for long hours doing what has to be done to the best of my ability. And when you've done the best you can you can't do any better.
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Horace
I will not add another word.
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Albert Einstein
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
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William Blake
The man who never alters his opinions is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.
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Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
Remember this-that there is a proper dignity and proportion to be observed in the performance of every act of life.
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William Cowper
Glory built on selfish principles is shame and guilt.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
As we grow old…the beauty steals inward.
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Aeschylus
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
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Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
Life is not a matter of milestones, but of moments.
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