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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Things People Say - 176
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Henry Peter Brougham
Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern, but impossible to enslave.
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Newt Gingrich
We're all human and we all goof. Do things that may be wrong, but do something.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.
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Old School
Mitch True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...
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Murray Edelman, _Politics as Symbolic Action_, p. 1
Political history is largely an account of mass violence and of the expenditure of vast resources to cope with mythical fears and hopes.
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Earl Warren
Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile I caught hell for.
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George Carlin, George Carlin: You Are All Diseased
Hobbies cost money but interests are free.
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Vannevar Bush
If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the physical world. One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker entirely by the use of the mathematics of probability.
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Georges Clemenceau
War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory.
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Oprah Winfrey
Every one of us gets through the tough times because somebody is there, standing in the gap to close it for us.
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Malcom Gladwell
For every romantic possiblity, no matter how robust, there exists at least one equal and opposite sentence, phrase, or word capable of extinguishing it.
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Helen Rowland
A bachelor never quite gets ove the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
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