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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Things People Say - 186
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Aesop, The Goose with the Golden Eggs
Thinking to get at once all the gold the goose could give, he killed it and opened it only to find - nothing.
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Albert Einstein
Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.
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Michael Cibenko
One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.
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Malcolm Muggeridge
The orgasm has replaced the Cross as the focus of longing and the image of fulfillment.
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Trey and Matt Stone Parker
Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.
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Aesop, The Bundle of Sticks
Union gives strength.
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Henry Adams
There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence.
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Sir Winston Churchill
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. Bartlett's Familiar Quotations is an admirable work, and I studied it intently. The quotations when engraved upon the memory give you good thoughts. They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
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Henry David Thoreau
We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success.
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John Calhoun
Irresponsible power is inconsistent with liberty, and must corrupt those who exercise it.
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Jacques Cousteau
If we were logical, the future would be bleak indeed. But we are more than logical. We are human beings, and we have faith, and we have hope.
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Rose Pastor Stokes
Some pray to marry the man they love, my prayer will somewhat vary I humbly pray to heaven above that I love the man I marry.
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