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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Proverbs and Quotations - 119
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W. Somerset Maugham, The Moon and Sixpence
Sometimes people carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem.
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Alexis DeTocqueville
This Rock has become an object of veneration in the United States. I have seen bits of it carefully preserved in several towns in the Union. Does this sufficiently show that all human power and greatness is in the soul of man? Here is a stone which the feet of a few outcasts pressed for an instant; and the stone becomes famous; it is treasured by a great nation; its very dust is shared as a relic.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust (1806)
Live dangerously and you live right.
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Chinese Proverb
Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
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Dorothy Parker
I went to a convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.
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Chief Seattle
There is no death. Only a change of worlds.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Make yourself necessary to somebody. Do not make life hard to any.
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Zig Ziglar
Success is the maximum utilization of the ability that you have.
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Thomas Alva Edison
I have not failed. Ive just found '10
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Josh Billings
What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul I suppose this depends somewhat upon the size of the soul. I think there are cases where the trade would do.
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Teo Chee Huen
I am who I am, You are who you are, So, be who you are, not what you are.
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Judy Garland, to her daughter, Liza Minelli
Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else.
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