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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Proverbs and Quotations - 86
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Dryden
Great wits are sure to madness near allied And thin partitions do their bounds divide.
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Publilius Syrus
Ready tears are a sign of treachery, not of grief.
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M. Scott Peck
You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience.
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G. K. Chesterton
The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion.
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Douglas Jerrold
Some people are so fond of ill-luck that they run half-way to meet it.
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George Eliot
Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important.
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Elbert Hubbard
Folks who never do any more than they are paid for, never get paid more than they do.
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Anon.
The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going.
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George Bernard Shaw
Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing.
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Thomas Carlyle, Past and Present, 1843
Blessed is he who has found his work; let him ask no other blessedness.
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Fran Lebowitz
My favorite animal is steak.
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