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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Famous Sayings - 169
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Aristophanes, Frogs, 405 B.C.
High thoughts must have high language.
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Philip Crosby, Reflections on Quality
Just being honest is not enough. The essential ingredient is executive integrity.
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Jean Rostand
Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a god.
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Vince Lombardi
I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.
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Gaius Julius Caesar
Men willingly believe what they wish.
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Hack Wilson
(Speaking about Satchel Paige's pitching)It starts out like a baseball and when it gets to the plate, it looks like a marble.
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David K. Shipler
Watching foreign affairs is sometimes like watching a magician the eye is drawn to the hand performing the dramatic flourishes, leaving the other hand-the one doing the important job-unnoticed.
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John Von Neumann (ca. 1949)
It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years.
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Soren Kierkegaard
Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it.
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Isaac Asimov
I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse.
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Ilie Nastase
My ambition is to do a good job. I never plan anything. (running for mayor of Bucharest, Romania)
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E.B. White
An intelligence service is, in fact, a stupidity service.
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