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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Things People Say - 49
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Charlotte Bronte
Cheerfulness, it would appear, is a matter which depends fully as much on the state of things within, as on the state of things without and around us.
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Marilyn Manson
We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.
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Albert Schweitzer
It is not enough merely to exist. It's not enough to say, 'I'm earning enough to support my family. I do my work well. I'm a good father, husband, churchgoer.' That's all very well. But you must do something more. Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. Even if it's a little thing, do something for those who need help, something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
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Mel Brooks
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
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William Blake
Always be ready to speak your mind and a base man will avoid you.
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Truman Capote
In California everyone goes to a therapist, is a therapist, or is a therapist going to a therapist.
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Indian Proverb
The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.
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Neil Gaiman, Sandman
It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.
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Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
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J. K. Rowling
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
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Charles A. Beard
I am convinced that the world is not a mere bog in which men and women trample themselves in the mire and die. Something magnificent is taking place here amid the cruelties and tragedies, and the supreme challenge to intelligence is that of making the noblest and best in our curious heritage prevail.
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Henry Louis Mencken
School days are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of dull, unintelligible tasks, new and unpleasant ordinances, with brutal violations of common sense and common decency.
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