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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Things People Say - 150
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Margaret Thatcher
I usually make up my mind about a man in ten seconds; and I very rarely change it.
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Kahlil Gibran
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
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George Bernard Shaw
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
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Valerie Polakow
Rigidly organized pre-school classrooms, which value obedience more than development, create the deficits in poor children, imposing a self-image of marginality and failure.
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David Letterman
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
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Shakti Gawain
When we create something, we always create it first in a thought form. If we are basically positive in attitude, expecting and envisioning pleasure, satisfaction and happiness, we will attract and create people, situations, and events which conform to our positive expectations.
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Paul Valery
God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.
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Sir Winston Churchill
The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
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Booker T. Washington
Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.
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Muriel Rukeyser
The world is not made of molecules, the world is made of stories.
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Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
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J. A. Spender
'Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.' Under the influence of this pestilent morality, I am forever letting tomorrow's work slop backwards into today's, and doing painfully and nervously today what I could do quickly and easily tomorrow.
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