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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Things People Say - 161
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Author Unknown
Few cases of eyestrain have been developed by looking on the bright side of things.
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Johnny Carson
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
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Gahan Wilson
When I was young, I used to think that wealth and power would bring me happiness... I was right.
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Robert Pirsig
Even though quality cannot be defined, you know what quality is.
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Jimmy Carter
Our American values are not luxuries but necessities, not the salt in our bread, but the bread itself. Our common vision of a free and just society is our greatest source of cohesion at home and strength abroad, greater than the bounty of our material blessings.
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Oscar Wilde, Jack from The Importance of Being Earnest
When one is in town one amuses oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people. It is excessively boring.
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Arthur Schopenhauer
Every nation ridicules other nations -- and all are right.
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Nathaniel Branden
Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.
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Benjamin Disraeli
Success is the child of audacity.
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Seneca
Many things have fallen only to rise higher.
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Edward Thorndike
Colors fade, temples crumble, empires fall, but wise words endure.
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Karl Kraus
He who does without the praise of the crowd will not deny himself an opportunity to be his own adherent.
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