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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funny Things People Say - 161

Author Unknown

Few cases of eyestrain have been developed by looking on the bright side of things.


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Johnny Carson

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.


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Gahan Wilson

When I was young, I used to think that wealth and power would bring me happiness... I was right.


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Robert Pirsig

Even though quality cannot be defined, you know what quality is.


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Jimmy Carter

Our American values are not luxuries but necessities, not the salt in our bread, but the bread itself. Our common vision of a free and just society is our greatest source of cohesion at home and strength abroad, greater than the bounty of our material blessings.


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Oscar Wilde, Jack from The Importance of Being Earnest

When one is in town one amuses oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people. It is excessively boring.


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Arthur Schopenhauer

Every nation ridicules other nations -- and all are right.


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Nathaniel Branden

Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.


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Benjamin Disraeli

Success is the child of audacity.


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Seneca

Many things have fallen only to rise higher.


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Edward Thorndike

Colors fade, temples crumble, empires fall, but wise words endure.


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Karl Kraus

He who does without the praise of the crowd will not deny himself an opportunity to be his own adherent.



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