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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Things People Say - 111
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Ivan Sergeevich Turgenev
However much you knock at nature's door, she will never answer you in comprehensible words.
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B. A. Billingsly
Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A noble person attracts noble people, and knows how to hold on to them.
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Orson Welles
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
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George Santayana, "The German Mind: A Philosophical Diagnosis"
Our character...is an omen of our destiny, and the more integrity we have and keep, the simpler and nobler that destiny is likely to be.
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H.L. Mencken
For every human problem, there is a neat, simple solution and it is always wrong
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Niels Bohr
An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
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Robert Francis Kennedy
You can't make war in the Middle East without Egypt and you can't make peace without Syria.
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Lenny Bruce
When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
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Jonathan Swift
One of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish had been left unsaid.
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Russian proverb
It is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats.
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Wilson Mizner
When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism but when you take it from many writers, it's research.
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