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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Famous Sayings - 124
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Oliver Wendell Holmes
When I think of talking, it is of course with a woman. For talking at its best being an inspiration, it wants a corresponding divine quality of receptiveness, and where will you find this but in a woman
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Claude T Bissell
The Social Sciences are good at accounting for disasters once they have taken place.
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Jean Baptiste Poquelin Molire
Nearly all men die of their remedies, and not of their illnesses.
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Steve Goodman
People don't understand the virtue of time, until their clock stops ticking.
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Henry Ford
One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.
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W. H. Auden
Desire, even in its wildest tantrums, can neither persuade me it is love nor stop me from wishing it were.
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Erma Bombeck
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
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Karl von Bonstetten
To resist the frigidity of old age one must combine the body, the mind and the heart - and to keep them in parallel vigor one must exercise, study and love.
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James Joyce
I've put in so many enigmas and puzzles that it will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I meant, and that's the only way of insuring one's mortality.
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Grace Murray Hopper
I am now going to make you a gift that will stay with you the rest of your life. For the rest of your life, every time you say 'We've always done it that way,' my ghost will appear and haunt you for twenty-four hours.
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Bette Davis, The Lonely Life, 1962
There are new words now that excuse everybody. Give me the good old days of heroes and villains. the people you can bravo or hiss. There was a truth to them that all the slick credulity of today cannot touch.
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R. Buckminster Fuller
I am the only guinea pig I have.
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