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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Proverbs and Quotations - 155
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Shirley MacLaine
The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.
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Richard Rybolt
There will be a time when loud-mouthed, incompetent people seem to be getting the best of you. When that happens, you only have to be patient and wait for them to self destruct. It never fails.
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Jean Baptiste Rousseau
Readiness of speech is often inability to hold the tongue.
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J. B. S. Haldane
We do not know, in most cases, how far social failure and success are due to heredity, and how far to environment. But environment is the easier of the two to improve.
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Anthony de Mello
If what you seek is Truth, there is one thing you must have above all else..an unremitting readiness to admit you may be wrong.
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J. W. Schopf
For four-fifths of our history, our planet was populated by pond scum.
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William H Gass
We have scarcely gotten home ... when our children's sneezes greet us, skinned knees bleed after waiting all day to do so. There is the bellyache and the burned-out basement bulb, the stalled car and the incontinent cat. The windows frost, the toilets sweat, the body of our spouse is one cold shoulder and the darkness of our bedroom is soon full of the fallen shadows of our failures.
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Robin Williams, Good Will Hunting
She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.
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Bertrand Russell
One of the chief obstacles to intelligence is credulity, and credulity could be enormously diminished by instructions as to the prevalent forms of mendacity. Credulity is a greater evil in the present day than it ever was before, because, owing to the growth of education, it is much easier than it used to be to spread misinformation, and, owing to democracy, the spread of misinformation is more important than in former times to the holders of power.
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Alexander Pope
In words as fashions the same rule will hold,Alike fantastic if too new or oldBe not the first by whome the new are tried,Nor yet the last to lay the old aside.
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Rabindranath Tagore
Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.
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John le Carre
A desk is a dangerous place from which to watch the world.
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