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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Proverbs and Quotations - 148
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Mark Twain
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
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Malcom X, My counselor, Mrs. Ross
I have no mercy or compassion for a society that crushes people, and then penalizes them for not being able to stand up under the weight.
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Wendell Berry
In health the flesh is graced, the holy enters the world.
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Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
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Dwight D. Eisenhower
In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.
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Euripides
Slight not what's near, while aiming at what's far.
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Phillips Brooks
A prayer in its simplest definition is merely a wish turned Godward.
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Francis Marion
Promises that you make to yourself are often like the Japanese plum tree - they bear no fruit.
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George Will
A society that thinks the choice between ways of living is just a choice between equally eligible 'lifestyles' turns universities into academic cafeterias offering junk food for the mind.
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Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
High school is closer to the core of the American experience than anything else I can think of.
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Plato
Honesty is for the most part, less profitable than dishonesty.
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Mayer Amschal Rothschild
It requires a great deal of boldness and a great deal of caution to make a great fortune and when you have got it, it requires ten times as much wit to keep it.
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