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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Famous Sayings - 61
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Morris Raphael Cohen
Cruel persecution and intolerance are not accidents, but grow out of the very essense of religion, namely, its absolute claims.
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Joseph Rickaby
A great preservative against angry and mutinous thoughts, and all impatience and quarreling, is to have some great business and interest in your mind, which, like a sponge shall suck up your attention and keep you from brooding over what displeases you.
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Alfred E. Newman
Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.
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Sir Winston Churchill
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
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William S. Burroughs
Paranoia means having all the facts.
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Carol Burnett
When someone who is known for being comedic does something straight, it' s always 'a big breakthrough' or a 'radical departure.' Why is it no one ever says that if a straight actor does comedy Are they presuming comedy is easier
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Conversation is an art in which a man has all mankind for competitors.
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Bill Watterson
I think most of us would be horrified to meet ourselves and discover what everyone else already knows about us.
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Plato
The beginning is the most important part of the work.
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Jacques Prvert
Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.
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Thomas Edison
Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I will show you a failure.
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Mother Theresa
I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I don't know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us, he will NOT ask, How many good things have you done in your life, rather he will ask, How much LOVE did you put into what you did
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