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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funny Things People Say - 91

Samuel Adams

Our contest is not only whether we ourselves shall be free, but whether there shall be left to mankind an asylum on earth for civil and religious liberty.


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William Pitt

Eloquence is in the assembly, not merely in the speaker.


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Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.


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Doris Mortman

Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have.


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William Hazlitt, on the Pleasure of Hating

...greatness sympathises with greatness, and littleness shrinks into itself.


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Steven Wright

Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect.


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Virgil

Believe one who has proved it. Believe an expert.


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Betty Smith

Look at everything as though you were seeing it for the first time or the last time. Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.


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Bill Tammeus

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months.


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Percy B. Shelley

Life may change, but it may fly not; Hope may vanish, but can die not;
Truth be veiled, but still it burneth;
Love replused - but it returneth


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Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire

As long as people believe in absurdities, they will continue to commit atrocities.


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Arnold Bennett

The best cure for worry, depression, melancholy, brooding, is to go deliberately forth and try to lift with one's sympathy the gloom of somebody else.



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