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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Proverbs and Quotations - 192
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Mae West
I used to be Snow White -- but I drifted.
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Sextus Propertius
Let each man pass his days in that wherein his skill is greatest.
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John F. Kennedy, Inaugural Address, Jan. 20, 1961
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
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Bill Watterson
I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
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P. J. O\'Rourke
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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Claudianus
Virtue is indeed its own reward.
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Hector Berlioz
Every composer knows the anguish and despair occasioned by forgetting ideas which one had no time to write down.
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Joseph Heller, Catch 22
so convincing were those dreams of being awake that he woke from them in a state of complete exhaustion, and had to go straight back to sleep again.
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Judith Viorst
But it's hard to be hip over thirty When everyone else is nineteen, When the last dance we learned was the Lindy, And the last we heard, girls who looked like Barbra Streisand Were trying to do something about it.
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G.K. Chesterton
A large section of the intelligentsia seems wholly devoid of intelligence.
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Ecclesiastes
Give not over thy soul to sorrow; and afflict not thyself in thy own counsel. Gladness of heart is the life of man and the joyfulness of man is length of days.
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Tancred
Everything comes if a man will only wait.
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