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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Things People Say - 98
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Richard Pryor
I believe in the institution of marriage and I intend to keep trying until I get it right.
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James 210 Bible
For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it.
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Dante Alighieri
Consider your origin you were not born to live like brutes, but to follow virtue and knowledge.
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Howard Gossage
If you have a lemon, make lemonade.
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Rachel Carson
The discipline of the writer is to learn to be still and listen to what his subject has to tell him.
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Seen on a bumper sticker
National Health Insurance: The compassion of the IRS
The efficiency of the Postal Service
All at Pentagon prices!!!!
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George S. Patton
Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.
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Jerry Coleman
That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres -- two doubles and a triple.
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Madeleine Albright
I don't want to sound Pollyannaish, but I hope that out of a tragedy like this something good will come. I hope we understand we're one family.
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Jean Baptiste Poquelin Molire
It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do.
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D. A. Battista
No one is exempt from talking nonsense the mistake is to do it solemnly.
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Ambrose Bierce
Pray To ask the laws of the universe to be an'null'ed on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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