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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Proverbs and Quotations - 167
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Franklin P. Adams
To err is human to forgive, infrequent.
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Sextus Propertius
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
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Aristotle
He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god.
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Laertius Diogenes
Nothing can be produced out of nothing.
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Amanda Cross
Odd, the years it took to learn one simple fact that the prize just ahead, the next job, publication, love affair, marriage always seemed to hold the key to satisfaction but never, in the longer run, sufficed.
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Paul McCartney
If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.
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Confucius
While you are not able to serve men, how can you serve spirits of the dead...While you do not know life, how can you know about death
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Fran Lebowitz
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand,' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'
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Aristotle, from Diogenes Laertius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers
I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.
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Jeremy Rifkin
The modern age has been characterized by a Promethean spirit, a restless energy that preys on speed records and shortcuts, unmindful of the past, uncaring of the future, existing only for the moment and the quick fix. The earthly rhythms that characterize a more pastoral way of life have been shunted aside to make room for the fast track of an urbanized existence. Lost in a sea of perpetual technological transition, modern man and woman find themselves increasingly alienated from the ecological choreography of the planet.
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Bill Watterson
People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.
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