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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Crazy Things People Say - 83

Aristotle, from Diogenes Laertius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.


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Millicent Carey McIntosh

There is no greater excitement than to support an intellectual wife and have her support you. Marriage is a partnership in which each inspires the other, and brings fruition to both of you.


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Jean de La Fontaine

By the work one knows the workmen.


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Publilius Syrus

Never find your delight in another's misfortune.


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John F. Kennedy, Inaugural address, January 20, 1961

And so, my fellow americans: ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.


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John Dewey

Intellectually, religious emotions are not creative but conservative. They attach themselves readily to the current view of the world and consecrate it.


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Johann von Goethe

If I love you, what business is it of yours


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Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Self-development is a higher duty than self-sacrifice.


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Holly Lisle

Actions have consequences...first rule of life. And the second rule is this - you are the only one responsible for your own actions.


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Albert Einstein

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.


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John Fellows Akers

I love the United States, but I see here everything is measured by success, by how much money it makes, not the satisfaction to the individual.


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Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

Waste no more time talking about great souls and how they should be. Become one yourself!



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