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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Things People Say - 104
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Robert Charles Benchley
A great many people have come up to me and asked me how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated. My answer is 'Don't you wish you knew'
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E. B. White
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
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Jane Porter
Happiness is a sunbeam, Which may pass through a thousand bosoms Without losing a particle of its original ray Nay, when it strikes on a kindred heart, Like the converged light on a mirror, It reflects itself with redoubled brightness. It is not perfected till it is shared.
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Elbert Hubbard
Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
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John Owen
We need to attend diligently to the state of our soul, and to deal fervently and effectively with God about it.
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Anonymous, Proverb
To him that you tell your secret you resign your liberty.
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Emo Phillips
At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
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Tom Wolfe
A cult is a religion with no political power.
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Dr. Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732
With foxes we must play the fox.
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Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine
What I know for sure is that what you give comes back to you.
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Martha Gellman
The only aspect of our travels that is interesting to others is disaster.
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Eugene Delacroix
I live in company with a body, a silent companion, exacting and eternal.
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