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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Things People Say - 69
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American Indian Proverb
Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.
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Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
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Jacqueline Cochran
I have found adventure in flying, in world travel, in business, and even close at hand... Adventure is a state of mind - and spirit.
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H.L. Mencken
Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.
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A. P. Gouthey
He helps others most, who shows them how to help themselves.
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J. G. Holland
God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
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Han Suyin
Truth, like surgery, may hurt, but it cures.
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Oscar Wilde
Chastity is the greatest form of perversion.
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Jean Anouilh
Saintliness is also a temptation.
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William Shakespeare, "The Merry Wives of Windsor", Act 5 scene 1
This is the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers.... There is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.
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Alice May Brock
Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese; garlic makes it good.
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Robert D. Kaplan, Warrior Politics: Why Leadership Demands a Pagan Ethos (Book)
It is easy to be a moral perfectionist when one is politically unaccountable.
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