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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Things People Say - 142
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Titus Maccius Plautus
The evil that we know is best.
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Lowell
It's not failure, but low aim is crime.
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Kahlil Gibran
God made Truth with many doors to welcome every believer who knocks on them.
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Zeno, from Diogenes Laertius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers
The goal of life is living in agreement with nature.
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Albert Einstein
I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
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Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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W. S. Gilbert
Things are seldom what they seem, skim milk masquerades as cream.
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Edith Sitwell
Good taste is the worst vice ever invented.
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Alfred North Whitehead
Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations which we can perform without thinking about them.
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Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield
Vicious minds abound with anger and revenge are incapable of feeling the pleasure of forgiving their enemies.
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Robert Orben
Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.
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Woody Allen, Without Feathers
Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
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