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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Proverbs and Quotations - 169
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American Proverb
In God we trust all others must pay cash.
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Henry David Thoreau
All good things are wild, and free.
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Unknown
Since wars begin in the minds of men, it is in the minds of men that the defence of peace must be constructed.
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Ring Lardner
A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.
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Lao-Tzu, Tao Te Ching
The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal Name.
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Erik Nupponen
To solve the problems of today, we must focus on tomorrow.
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Anthony Walton
America's greatest strength, and its greatest weakness, is our belief in second chances, our belief that we can always start over, that things can be made better.
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Blaise Pascal
Few friendships would survive if each one knew what his friend says of him behind his back.
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Voltaire
Canada: A few acres of snow.
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Unknown
Most people rust out due to lack of challenge. Few people rust out due to overuse.
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H. L. Mencken
No normal man ever fell in love after thirty when the kidneys begin to disintegrate.
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Francis Bacon
There is little friendship in the world, and least of all between equals.
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