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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Proverbs and Quotations - 135
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Woody Allen
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
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Lady Nancy Astor
The only thing I like about rich people is their money.
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Richard Bach
The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.
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Emily Elizabeth Dickinson
If I can stop one heart from breaking, If I can ease one pain, Then my life will not have been in vain.
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Abraham Lincoln
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crises. The great point is to bring them the real facts.
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Reggie Leach
Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.
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Hofni Samuel
When in doubt, do without.
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Benjamin Franklin
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
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Laurence J. Peter
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
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Unknown
Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.
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Margaret Fairless Barber
To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward.
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William Shakespeare
There is occasions and causes why and wherefore in all things.
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