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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Famous People Sayings - 80
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Euripides, Alcestis, 438 B.C.
Time cancels young pain.
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William Shakespeare, Sonnet cxvi
Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments: love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds.
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Heywood Broun
A liberal is a man who leaves the room when the fight begins.
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Bertrand Russell
The happiness that is genuinely satisfying is accompanied by the fullest exercise of our faculties and the fullest realization of the world in which we live.
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Bill Cosby
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
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Thomas Jefferson
If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny.
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Robert Louis Stevenson
...for no man lives in the external truth among salts and acids, but in the warm, phantasmagoric chamber of his brain, with the painted windows and the storied wall.
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Henry David Thoreau, "Walden", 1854
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
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James A. Garfield
Next in importance to freedom and justice is popular education, without which neither freedom nor justice can be permanently maintained.
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Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Self-development is a higher duty than self-sacrifice.
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Wilson Mizner
The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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W. H. Auden
Murder is unique in that it abolishes the party it injures, so that society has to take the place of the victim and on his behalf demand atonement or grant forgiveness it is the one crime in which society has a direct interest.
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