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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Things People Say - 189
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George Walker Bush
Thousands of lives were suddenly ended by evil, despicable acts of terror. referring to the September '11
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Gretel Ehrlich
Walking is also an ambulation of mind.
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William Shakespeare
Hamlet Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a camel Polonius By the mass, and 'tis like a camel, indeed. Hamlet Methinks it is like a weasel. Polonius It is backed like a weasel. Hamlet Or like a whale Polonius Very like a whale.
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Peter Mere Latham
Fortunate indeed, is the man who takes exactly the right measure of himself, and holds a just balance between what he can acquire and what he can use.
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Lord Falkland
When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.
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Walter Bagehot
The habit of common and continuous speech is a symptom of mental deficiency.
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James Joyce
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
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Liz Winston
I rely on my personality for birth control.
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Publilius Syrus
A suspicious mind always looks on the black side of things.
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Evelle J. Younger
An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer.
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Laurence J. Peter
Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
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Wayne W Dyer
I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside.
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