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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Things People Say - 16
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Austin Phelps
Wear the old coat and buy the new book.
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Roger Moore
I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor.
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Oscar Wilde, In Life of Oscar Wilde, H. Pearson
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
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William Shakespeare
Our bodies are our gardens to which our wills are gardeners.
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J. R. R. Tolkien
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
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Annie Lennox
Ask yourself: Have you been kind today? Make kindness your daily modus operandi and change your world.
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Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
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Sir Arthur Helps
It is better in some respects to be admired by those with whom you live, than to be loved by them. And this is not on account of any gratification of vanity, but because admiration is so much more tolerant than love.
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Martin Tupper, English writer 1810-1889
A good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever.
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Mark Twain
He would come in and say he changed his mind -- which was a gilded figure of speech, because he didn't have any.
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Anonymous
If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.
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Aesop
Persuasion is often more effectual than force.
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