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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Famous People Sayings - 130
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Robert Frost
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
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Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill
Kites rise highest against the wind---not with it.
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Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
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John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Irrational barriers and ancient prejudices fall quickly when the question of survival itself is at stake.
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Andrew Schneider
As a doctor, as a man of science, I can tell you there is no such thing as curses Everything just happens as a question of probability. The statistical likelihood of a specific event.
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Coming to America
Maurice Oh yeah, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. Then I moved up to washing lettuces. Now, I'm working the fat fryer. Pretty soon I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.
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Alfred Hitchcock
Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
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Danish proverb
If you want to be respected, you must respect yourself.
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John Lennon, When asked how the Beatles found America on their first U.S. visit
Just turn left at Greenland...
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B. J. Gupta
Man is a social animal. Without society he is nothing but animal. Yet many consider themselves 'self made'.
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Greg Proops
I understand that smoking is vaguely inappropriate in certain situations. You know, like an orphanage, cancer ward, whatever.
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G. C. Lichtenberg
It is in the gift for employing all the vicissitudes of life to one's own advantage and to that of one's craft that a large part of genius consists.
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