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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Things People Say - 177
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Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile!
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
One never goes so far as when one doesn't know where one is going.
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Agnes Repplier
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
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Mark Leeper
Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have people all across the country know about it.
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Robert Jordan, The Wheel of Time
On the heights, all paths are paved with daggers.
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William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar", Act 3 scene 1
Cry Havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.
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Samuel Taylor Coleridge
I have seen gross intolerance shown in support of tolerance.
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Eliza Mother Stewart
No power on earth or above the bottomless pit has such influence to terrorize and make cowards of men as the liquor power. Satan could not have fallen on a more potent instrument with which to thrall the world. Alcohol is king
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Somerset Maugham, The New York Times Book Review, September 30, 1984
There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
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Saint Adela Rogers Johns
Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness -- happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes, when you're lucky. Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith and love.
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Hellen Keller
Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything good in the world.
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William Blake
Innocence dwells with Wisdom, but never with Ignorance.
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