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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Proverbs and Quotations - 66
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Marlon Brando
An actor's a guy who, if you ain't talking about him ain't listening.
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Sir Philip Sidney
But words came halting forth, wanting Inventions stayInvention, Natures child, fled step-dame Studys blows...Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite,Fool, said my Muse to me look in thy heart and write.
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Jean Toomer
We learn the rope of life by untying its knots.
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Frank Zappa
Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, use that something to support their own existence.
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Cheryl Grossman
I dream, therefore I become.
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Oscar Wilde
I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex.
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Lytton Strachey, Eminent Victorians (1918)
The history of the Victorian Age will never be written: we know too much about it. For ignorance is the first requisite of the historian - ignorance, which simplifies and clarifies, which selects and omits, with a placid perfection unattainable by the highest art.
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Alcoholics Anonymous Prayer
God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always. Amen.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
I like to have a man's knowledge comprehend more than one class of topics, one row of shelves. I like a man who likes to see a fine barn as well as a good tragedy.
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Richard Livingstone
There is no virtue in being uncritical nor is it a habit to which the young are given. But criticism is only the burying beetle that gets rid of what is dead, and, since the world lives by creative and constructive forces, and not by negation and destruction, it is better to grow up in the company of prophets than of critics.
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Dean Gooderham Acheson
Time spent in the advertising business seems to create a permanent deformity like the Chinese habit of foot-binding.
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Latin Proverb
It is the part of a good shepherd to shear his flock, not to skin it.
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