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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Things People Say - 44
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Oprah Winfrey
Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.
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Robert Oxton Bolt
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.
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Helen Keller
Is there anything worse than being blind? Yes, a man with sight and no vision.
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George Santayana, Winds of Doctrine (1913) ch. 2
For an idea ever to be fashionable is ominous, since it must afterwards be always old-fashioned.
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Roger Lewin
Too often we give our children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.
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Douglas Adams
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
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William Shakespeare
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
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Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Talk not of wasted affection, affection never was wasted, If it enrich not the heart of another, its waters returning
Back to their springs, like the rain shall fill them full of refreshment;
That which the fountain sends forth returns again to the fountain.
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Aristotle
All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire.
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George Bernard Shaw
We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.
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Andrew Schneider
Continuous unremitting darkness has been known to send some people into an emotional tailspin, so the management here at KBHR radio suggests locking away the firearms. The desire to stick that 45 between the teeth can get pretty strong at times, so why invite temptation.
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Erich Fromm
A new question has arisen in modern man's mind, the question, namely, whether life is worth living...No sensible answer can be given to the question...because the question does not make any sense.
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