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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Clever Famous Sayings - 178

H. L. Mencken

I detest converts almost as much as I do missionaries.


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D. W. Brogan

For Americans war is almost all of the time a nuisance, and military skill is a luxury like Mah-Jongg. But when the issue is brought home to them, war becomes as important, for the necessary period, as business or sport. And it is hard to decide which is likely to be the more ominous for the Axis -- an American decision that this is sport, or that it is business.


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Samuel Butler

God is Love -- I dare say. But what a mischievous devil Love is


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Samuel Johnson

I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.


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D. H. Lawrence

Try to find your deepest issue in every confusion, and abide by that.


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Andy Warhol

Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person good night.


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Antione De Riveral

The sword of justice has no scabbard.


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Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.


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Leonard Bernstein

It was an initiation into the love of learning, of learning how to learn, that was revealed to me by my BLS masters as a matter of interdisciplinary cognition-that is, learning to know something by its relation to something else.


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Elbert Hubbard

Religions are many and diverse, but reason and goodness are one.


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Osho, The art of Dying

A man who is afraid of death will be afraid of life also, because life brings death. If you are afraid of the enemy and you close your door, the friend will also be prohibited.


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Charles M. Schwab

All successful employers are stalking men who will do the unusual, men who think, men who attract attention by performing more than is expected of them.



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