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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Famous Sayings - 39
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Albert Einstein
Of all the communities available to us there is not one I would want to devote myself to, except for the society of the true searchers, which has very few living members at any time.
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Chinese Proverb
If you are planning for a year, sow rice if you are planning for a decade, plant trees if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people.
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St. Augustine
Men go abroad to wonder the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.
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Elbert Hubbard
Editor: a person employed on a newspaper whose business it is to seperate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.
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Josh Billings
One of rarest things that a man ever does is to do the best he can.
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Office Space
Milton And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire.
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John Ruskin
No person who is not a great sculptor or painter can be an architect. If he is not a sculptor or painter, he can only be a builder.
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Susan Jeffers
We have been taught to believe that negative equals realistic and positive equals unrealistic.
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Pilpay
There is no gathering the rose without being pricked by the thorns.
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Carol Burnett
When you have a dream you've got to grab it and never let go.
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Publilius Syrus
We simply rob ourselves when we make presents to the dead.
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Dan Burrus
I think all of us are looking at the future with yesterday's eyes.
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