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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Things People Say - 109
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Cullen Hightower
We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can.
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Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Malice drinks one half of its own poison.
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Robert Francis Kennedy
Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, these ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.
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Andre Maurois
In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
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Jesse Louis Jackson
I cast my bread on the waters long ago. Now it's time for you to send it back to me-toasted and buttered on both sides.
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Publilius Syrus
It is more tolerable to be refused than deceived.
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Leonard Brandwein
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
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P. J. O\'Rourke
Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government do it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
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Bertrand Russell
Change is scientific, progress is ethical; change is indubitable, whereas progress is a matter of controversy.
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Georges Clemenceau
There is no passion like that of a functionary for his function.
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Charles W. Tobey
A democratic government is only as strong as the alert conscience of its people.
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J. Paul Getty
Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still
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