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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Quotations from Famous People - 92
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Shakespeare
Why then the worlds mine oyster, Which I with sword shall open.
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Theodore Roosevelt
A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.
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Francis Bacon
Atheism leaves a man to sense, to philosophy, to natural piety, to laws, to reputation, all which may be guides to an outward moral virtue, though religion were not but superstition dismounts all these, and erects an absolute monarchy in the minds of men...the master of superstition is the people and arguments are fitted to practice, in a reverse order.
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Horace, Satires
Life grants nothing to us mortals without hard work.
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Fred Dehner
The best helping hand that you will ever receive is the one at the end of your own arm.
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Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
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James Ling
Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.
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Napoleon Bonaparte
Medicine is a collection of uncertain prescriptions the results of which, taken collectively, are more fatal than useful to mankind.
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George Bernard Shaw
Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious.
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Anne Tyler
I've never quite believed that one chance is all I get.
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Lyman Beecher
Never chase a lie. Let it alone, and it will run itself to death.
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Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well fed.
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